Monday, October 26, 2009

Hangover from hell...or not?

Hangover from hell...or not?

Sunday, 5. August 2007, 19:04:23

You know when you've woken up from a long night of drinking and your head just seems to ring/clunk?
That is how I feel right now...the sad part is that I haven't had anything but tea and mineral water to drink last night. I know that a hangover is just i've gulped down a bucket of water...but I just feel worse.

I have overdue dvd's from video sleezy...and they keep texting me. Which is understandable from thier part, but i just don't feel up to the three minute drive to return them.

I also have a friend from Queensland trying to call me, but i'm just not interested in talking on the phone tonight. I know he's just letting me know the details of his flights, as he's coming down to visit...I just can't get enthused about anything atm.

Whinge, whinge, moan, moan.
It's all pretty boring tonight?

Curling up on the couch and watching some tellie, sounds like a good plan. I hope I can find a good murder to watch.

I guess I'll also have to whip up a stirfry or something for tea...or maybe a curry. Although I have a cauliflower that I ought to cook...mmm, cauli cheese.

Kelly and Zig came for tea last night. I made rigatoni with pesto and smoked trout, followed by mud pudding (chocolate self saucing with pears at the bottom). It was a great unloading session, for both of us (Kel and I)...Zig was a bit bored, but popped in and out of the kitchen between watching cartoons in the lounge.

I'm a little concerned about BJ. I have never really spent this much time in close contact with her...her drinking is a worry, along with her general lack of focus. I worry about her family (Gran and Harrie mainly), and the stress she's putting on Kel, by just not being aware of anything but her own fascination of the moment. I'm happy that she's happy, and in love...but I worry about how irresponsible she is in every other aspect of her life. She's a year older than me, and so much flightier... Not that I'm all that grounded myself, I just don't have people dependant on me.

I have chosen not to have kids because I know that I can't always be a reliable parent that a child needs and deserves. I feel guilty enough stressing out partners, and family. I keep trying to step up to the mark and help out Harrie. I know it's not my place to do so, but I feel for her. I wear myself out by trying to fill the holes I see in other's lifes around me.

It all comes back to me needing to find a niche, so that people want to be around me. Stupid I know. I'm just repeating my role in my family. I just feel like I don't deserve a place in anyones lives unless i'm useful.

Anyway, enough of this pity party I'm sure you've all got other things to be doing.

Cheers Kate

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