Sunday, February 28, 2010



I know that heading may well put people off reading (or perhaps incite people to read), but really I just want to pose some questions and perhaps formulate some theories.

Looking back on my childhood, Trick and I had some really good fights, but mostly there was just a little violence towards each other as we vented frustrations. The worst examples were; one broken bone (a toe), bruised kidneys, an egg on the head, and perhaps four destructions of property, over an eighteen year period. There were household rules; no kicking, biting, hair pulling, or hitting below the belt (or boobs)...and generally if it was a big fight we had to take it outside. Which usually resulted in a phone call from a grand parent who lived a paddock away wanting to know why hell had broken loose (and many shameful explanation's of our behaviour)? So mostly we just hit each other in the arms or chest (pre-boobs)...which I'm sure you'll agree is reasonably good for siblings? And as previously cited, only occured until we were about 18-20 years old.

So my first question is why did the violence stop?

Was it because we realised that no-one really won when we both walked away sore? Or perhaps we'd reached a level of maturity that let us solve our problems verbally without violence? Perhaps our maturity had curtailed the niggling, button pushing behaviour that caused the fights in the first place? Or were we more involved with people outside of the closed family unit, that had us so mentally stimulated that we didn't feel the need to use tension for excitement? Perhaps it was the fact that we could just walk away if we got fed up with our sibling, and no-one would question where we were going as adults?

So now that I've pondered those possibilities, I also have another question. Why am I so intolerant of young people who resort to violence to solve their problems (just as Trick and I did)? Am I being old and cranky because it's a phase I've grown out of? Or am I judging people for not having grown  out of it by the ages that Trick and I did? Or am I rising up against being subjected to pain, when I expect people to respond to ribbing from me with the same in return, or with a voiced complaint expressing that they've had enough?

There is also another behaviour that I have observed recently, which is foreign to my upbringing. That of the pouty flounce out of the room, followed by the return to make a parting shot either physically or verbally. Now, am I being an old Fogey in thinking this is childish behaviour for an adult (albeit a young one) this too a behaviour that I can expect someone to grow out of? Or does this behaviour need to be pointed out, before the actee can address the lack of maturity shown by their actions? Can I, an acquaintance, pull this person up by the boot straps, or should that be left to one of their own elder family members? Or should I just write this person off, and warn friends and family to steer clear of them?

All puzzling questions to me. Some of which, I shall cogitate on a while longer.

Till next time...


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Bright Eyes

There used to be a clip on the ABC down here when I was a little tacker, that always glued me to the was a realistic drawn clip of rabbits frolicking in a copse, set to Simon and Garfunkle's Bright Eyes...and search as I might I can only find the clips based on the movie rather than the realistic clip they used to play. So rather than subject you to cartoon bunnies, I've opted for this clip that shows the lyrics. I hope you enjoy it.

lol, as a side note if anyone sends me a text, my phone also plays Bright Eyes. Yep, I love it that much!

It's sad, but I've always found my soul feels a little lighter after hearing it.

I think I'm having an hankering for a pet bunny, with their soft wrinkly noses,  furry muzzles, and velvet ears.

Cheers Kate

Friday, February 26, 2010

Some songs for you...

I was going to post these two songs last night, but couldn't because I was having trouble loading the EDIT HTML not loading for me...however I read up on the problem and have found that reverting to the 'old editor' under the settings tab, is a temporary solution. Anyway here they are :)

Feeling Good - Sung by Nina Simone

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree you know how I feel


Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean

And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel


Here comes the Sun - The Beatles (George Harrison)

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

Well that's it for tonight. I liked the vid, for Feeling Good, which was an assignment for Tamara's motion graphics course. It's simple, strong and striking :)

See you all on the flip side!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Well here I am again in the middle of the night blogging.

It's been a bit of a bugger this last month, as I haven't been able to blog about something major. So this is going to be the blog about secrets. 

What do you do when you're told something huge and are then sworn to secrecy? Something that people would kill to find out, or something that so rocks your world that you can not keep it in? 

Apparently I must have a sign on my forehead that blinks in neon telling others to confide in me. Now it's nice that people feel that they can trust me, but it's also a huge burden. I'm subject to the same foibles as everyone else, perhaps even more than most?

I'd love to say that I can keep any secret anywhere, anytime, but that is just not true. I feel sick spilling the beans, and like I've cheated people by abasing their trust. I know that I've been known to tell secrets purely to have a laugh at someone else's expense, which not only abuses trust, but also shows how inferior I feel at times. I feel bad that I can stoop so low as to build myself up on someone else's misfortune. I'm ashamed that I stoop to bullying behaviour. Ashamed that I would willingly subject someone else to behaviour that I loathed to be at the mercy of. I'd love to say "Ah well, I'm only human." thus letting myself off the hook...surely as a mature adult I'm meant to be able to rise above such behaviour, treating everyone I meet with compassion and kindness. LOL, I know it's something I spout off about here often enough! Is it any wonder this is something I beat myself up over?

*sigh* it's obviously a personality fault I'm not going to be able to solve in this short post.

Well, that self attack aside, there was more that I intended to write about in this post. So on with the story...

What happens when someone tells you something that rips your world apart and forces you to chose a stance which declares who you are as a person? Say a friend arrives at your house one day and  says they work in the local gas chamber where thousands are killed everyday...and that YOU MUST KEEP THIS A SECRET, because your friend will be killed if anyone else knows. What do you do? How do you cope with the burden of knowing something so terrible? Are you allowed to tell someone else that you trust not to let the bosses or the public know, just so that you're not shouldering this burden on your own? Did your friend tell you just so that they weren't suffering alone under the weight of the secret? Does your sense of what is right and honest declare to the world that horrifying things are happening in your town, or do you keep your secret to save the life of your friend? Perhaps you will also be killed for telling someone else the secret? Perhaps all the people who enter the gas chamber are there of their own free will, and your saying something ends their ability to participate in euthanasia? Whatever you decide to do with this secret irrevocably declares your stance on the killings. Whatever the outcome, you have made a decision about whether or not to kill your friend...and certainly altering the world view of the any people that you do tell. You may also have saved thousands of lives, or perhaps none at all depending upon who you've chosen to share this secret with. If you shared your secret with someone else who will keep the secret with you, have you been unfair in forcing them to have to make that choice?

I suppose what I'm trying to illustrate with that scenario is whether or not keeping a secret is selfish? Whether you are selfish or selfless all depends upon who you are in that scenario...I suppose that whomever ends up dying because of your choice regarding the secret would see you as selfish...and even if you did spill the beans and manage to not have anyone die you may still be seen as selfish by the people who wanted the gas chamber operating in the first place.

I suppose that is where morals and ethics come into make the decision that you hope will be best. There will always be someone who isn't happy with the way things have played out, and you just have to live with the consequences of your actions.

*sigh* I think I've come to the conclusion that I hate secrets. My life would be so much easier to live if people didn't tell me things. I want to be an ostrich and stick my head in the sand...frankly I'd prefer to have my bum eaten by a lion than to make any more life altering decisions, due to someone else confiding in me!

lol, perhaps I'll have a shirt made up to say just that...or a tattoo on my forehead? Or at the very least I could smash the neon sign that's flashing away up there?

Cheers, Kate 

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Heavy Heart

Today's post takes it's name from the You Am I tune Heavy Heart... I'm pretty sure that they lyrics are about missing a partner when you're working night/pub shifts vs normal working hours of your partner, or perhaps after dragging yourself home yet again from another soulless night drinking over losing the love of your life?

Alas for me it's a theme song to describe how and when the depression hits me hardest, scrabbling to cling to happier memories of other times. I'm maudlin and melancholy. Enjoy the song, it's not as bad as I make it out to be.

Anyway here are the lyrics.
You Am I - Heavy Heart.

Been watching so much TV
I'm thinner than I should be
I'm like a waterlogged ball
That no-one wants to kick around anymore
An all day morning hair-do
That no comb can get through
It's all granola and beer
A calling card and a silk cut souvenir
I miss you like sleep
And there's nothing romantic about the hours I keep
The morning when it starts
I don't look so sharp
Now I got a heavy heart

I talk a lot about football
And girls I kissed in Grade 4
I piss off my friends
And digging a hole just staring at the floor
Now every t-shirt's got a wine stain
I'm loving cigarettes again
I know every tune about guys and girls
and hurts and hearts and moans

I miss you like sleep
And there's nothing romantic about the hours I keep
The morning when it starts
I don't look so good
Now I got a heavy heart

It's just a low rent paying, palpitating pulp under my shirt
But there's a weight that's sitting
Oh God it hurts
Oh God it hurts

Been watching so much TV
I'm thinner than I should be
I'm like a waterlogged ball
That no-one wants to kick around anymore

I miss you like sleep
And there's nothing romantic about the hours I keep
The morning when it starts
Oh my heavy heart