I know that heading may well put people off reading (or perhaps incite people to read), but really I just want to pose some questions and perhaps formulate some theories.
Looking back on my childhood, Trick and I had some really good fights, but mostly there was just a little violence towards each other as we vented frustrations. The worst examples were; one broken bone (a toe), bruised kidneys, an egg on the head, and perhaps four destructions of property, over an eighteen year period. There were household rules; no kicking, biting, hair pulling, or hitting below the belt (or boobs)...and generally if it was a big fight we had to take it outside. Which usually resulted in a phone call from a grand parent who lived a paddock away wanting to know why hell had broken loose (and many shameful explanation's of our behaviour)? So mostly we just hit each other in the arms or chest (pre-boobs)...which I'm sure you'll agree is reasonably good for siblings? And as previously cited, only occured until we were about 18-20 years old.
So my first question is why did the violence stop?
Was it because we realised that no-one really won when we both walked away sore? Or perhaps we'd reached a level of maturity that let us solve our problems verbally without violence? Perhaps our maturity had curtailed the niggling, button pushing behaviour that caused the fights in the first place? Or were we more involved with people outside of the closed family unit, that had us so mentally stimulated that we didn't feel the need to use tension for excitement? Perhaps it was the fact that we could just walk away if we got fed up with our sibling, and no-one would question where we were going as adults?
So now that I've pondered those possibilities, I also have another question. Why am I so intolerant of young people who resort to violence to solve their problems (just as Trick and I did)? Am I being old and cranky because it's a phase I've grown out of? Or am I judging people for not having grown out of it by the ages that Trick and I did? Or am I rising up against being subjected to pain, when I expect people to respond to ribbing from me with the same in return, or with a voiced complaint expressing that they've had enough?
There is also another behaviour that I have observed recently, which is foreign to my upbringing. That of the pouty flounce out of the room, followed by the return to make a parting shot either physically or verbally. Now, am I being an old Fogey in thinking this is childish behaviour for an adult (albeit a young one)...is this too a behaviour that I can expect someone to grow out of? Or does this behaviour need to be pointed out, before the actee can address the lack of maturity shown by their actions? Can I, an acquaintance, pull this person up by the boot straps, or should that be left to one of their own elder family members? Or should I just write this person off, and warn friends and family to steer clear of them?
All puzzling questions to me. Some of which, I shall cogitate on a while longer.
Till next time...