Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Being Erica

Hai hai,

Being Erica is a lovely Canadian show about  thirty-five year old woman who's life is full of dead ends. She enters into a agreement to participate in a radical new therapy to help her get her life back on track. The twist is that she gets to re-live days in her life, and see what changes if she acts to change the original outcome. Some things are able to be changed, others can't, and she needs to learn how to take the most from every situation...and learn that everything has consequences. 

The series starts out with Erica writing down all of her regrets. Which Doctor Tom then makes her re-live...forcing her to chose the same or different outcomes, and then live with the consequences.

So the point of this post was to ask this question that I found on the Being Erica website: If you could go back in time to any point in your life, what point would that be? Why would you choose that moment, and what might you do differently?

I have a heap of things that I'd probably do differently back in childhood...most of which centre around how socially awkward I am with peers. I would like to try talking to Dr Ziggy, way back when I was first diagnosed with depression, and try to get a more stable lifestyle sorted early on.

If we skip forward to young adult, I'd skip a couple of boyfriends, but add in a couple of others earlier on. Oh, I'd make the most of knowing people from other schools. Hmmm, and if possible I'd have stayed at school in Hamilton. I'd go to uni and study part time rather than full time...and hopefully finish that course. I'd also organise visas and work for while I was travelling in Europe.

I'd ride my horse more often, and keep up with hockey.

I'd make the most of revealing clothing, and feel good about my hair and figure.

I'd take back hurtful remarks which were only said to blend in with the crowd.

I wouldn't be afraid of being different or strong.

I would explain that I wanted to go to brownies and ballet so that I could see friends outside of school hours, not because I wanted to actually do those activites. I'd ask if I could call friends on the phone instead of assuming I wasn't allowed to use it. I'd organise sleep overs.

I'd be up front about hating public speaking, and not submitting homework which I thought was a waste of time. I'd be more insistent about studying latin rather than crap subjects like geography.

I'd say that I played the piano everyday, rather than let Gilly take it and sell it.

I would make Nonno write down a recipe for strudel, instead of letting him make piles of this and that. I like to follow a guide, even if eventually I substitute ingredients.

I would tell Nonno how much I was adding to the nest egg he'd given me.

I wouldn't just roll my eyes and go into another room when Nonno was telling me what to do...but ask him why instead, and perhaps even tell him my own thoughts on the subjects. LOL, although this would probably have hastened his thoughts that I'd defected from him.

I think I'd like to have asked Polly, Nonna and Nonno about their lives when they were younger.

I would like to have taunted Richard a little less.

Ok, i'm stopping there because I've just had a mood swing...and I'm not feeling all that pleasant.

It's almost funny but for most of this post I've been feeling happy and strong thinking about all the things I'd do differently. Yet when it came to thinking about Richard standing forlornly at my bedroom stairs, I hate that I put him through that...yet at the time it gave me a smug sense of power, which is why I repeated that weekend after weekend.


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